Friday 14 September 2007

If you're not dancing on the ceiling...




"As you pass round each pillar, the whole of your body except your hands and feet are over black emptiness. Your feet are on slabs of stone sloping downwards and outwards at an angle of about thirty-five degrees to the horizontal, your fingers and elbows making the most of a friction-hold against a vertical pillar, and the ground is precisely one hundred feet directly below you.

If you slip, you will still have three seconds to live."

Tempting fate it may be but - we're on schedule. The dustcover has been finalised - we love the picture on the back but you'll just have to wait and see which one it is. Today's quote is a pretty major clue. The printer time has been booked. The paper's been chosen. The font has been selected (Baskerville). The text is being polished as we type and the pictures have been laboured over with love, sweat and some tears, and are finally resting in their allotted positions. They've been - how do they say it on the house make-over shows - 'sympathetically improved'? Whilst keeping their authenticity we've managed to improve clarity, impact and, especially, atmosphere. Can't wait for you to see them.

I've got more retailers on board and there'll definitely be a flurry from the media when it flies. I'm basically just forcing them to listen and then threatening to call them even more frequently unless they buy/promote this fantastic tome. I hope we sell enough to cover my bail...

Anyway, once the proofing's completed - not long now - it'll be with some trepidation that I send it off to the printer. If we've made a hash - sorry, if I've made a hash of it, I'll have to face a lot of people eagerly looking forward to this book gracing the light of day. Not the least of whom, of course, is Whipplesnaith's son. It's to be a nerve-wracking juncture. I will of course, like any self-respecting scapegoat, just go on holiday...

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